


Almost

by writingthursdays



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Goblin AU where Kyungsoo is a Grim Reaper, Jongin is a Missing Soul, Kyungsoo is a Reaper, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, goblin au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-09 13:02:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18917575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingthursdays/pseuds/writingthursdays
Summary: Kyungsoo frowned at the name in the card. Something about it seemed so familiar and yet, he couldn’t recall. He put on his black hat and gets right into business; tugging his suit down and brushing off imaginary dust. Right, still – a job is a job. He looks at the name again, the words rolling off easily in his tongue.Kim Jongin, born on January 14.





	1. aut neca aut necare

**Author's Note:**

> This is a birthday gift for my friend skaiblue! A goblin au with kaisoo.

i.

Kyungsoo looks grim from the corner, the name card clutched tightly against his hand that by the time he’s done with it it’s already crumpled beyond comprehension. Not that there’s any more use of it after it’s been given to them. He still hadn’t gotten the hang of seeing a violent death no matter how many souls he’s reaped before. They shouldn’t feel a thing; his superior had said and yet the churning in his stomach says otherwise.

“Kim Hyuna born on June 6,” He recited routine-like, careful not to let any emotions bleed through. The woman with auburn hair stares aghast at her lifeless body on the floor. She tears her eyes away for a split moment towards Kyungsoo, mouth open in shock.

“I don’t understand–”

“—died at 8:32am on February 1, cause of death: blood loss.”

“I’m not dead – I wasn’t, I’m right here.” She trailed off, slumping to the ground in defeat.

“Can you confirm?” Kyungsoo asked, alternating between looking at her soul and her body.

“This is wrong, I-I shouldn’t be dead! He was the one who did wrong so why should I die? I can’t die – what will happen to my brother? Oh god, my baby. Who’s going to take care of him?” Hyuna sobbed.

“Come with me please,”

Hyuna whips her head towards him, the dawning realization hitting her face. Kyungsoo knew the look. It was tragic, what happened to her. But there wasn’t anything that Kyungsoo can do about that. He’s merely a pawn strung up on strings by the Gods. A messenger.

“I can’t – my brother, he’s going to come home later. He-he can’t see me like this!”

“If you do not come with me then you will become a vengeful spirit. You will hurt those you love in agony of not being able to move on. Do you want that?”

“I can’t leave like this.” She said, eyes snapping towards the doorframe as if someone might come in any moment now. “Can’t you move my body? That’s all I ask. Just – he’s just a kid and I can’t imagine what he’d feel like if he,” She trailed off, a lone tear escaping from her eyes.

Kyungsoo’s heart hurt, truly. But meddling in mortal affairs is against the rules.

“I’m sorry. All I can offer you is the peace of mind of your next life,”

“Please, just – I don’t care about anything. I’ll do whatever you want me to do, don’t let him see me like this. He’s just a kid. I can’t put him through this! I’ve already put him through so much,”

Kyungsoo paused. He may be able to do something about delaying the kid from seeing death so early in life.

“Okay.” He said. The woman’s eyes shone brightly with tears and Kyungsoo knew he would regret it later, when he’s being reprimanded and given a few hundred years in his sentence but the thought of easing someone else’s burden right now seemed the better choice at the moment. He would see to it that her killer would not go unpunished.

 

20 years later

Kim from Batch 27 waved at Kyungsoo from his seat. The café is dimly lit and cozy, something that Kyungsoo found he hadn’t seen in a lot of things lately. Kim from batch 27 liked to call himself Jongdae, despite it not being his actual name. It’s their best imitation of any semblance of a normal life, or as close to it as possible given their situation. Kyungsoo unfastens the button in his suit and sits promptly in front of Jongdae as the latter puts his hand up to call for the waiter.

“Living with mortals seem so tedious,” Jongdae said.

Kyungsoo shrugged, “I like it. After all, we were once human,”

“I can’t imagine going back,”

Kyungsoo looks up at him and Jongdae grins. He doesn’t offer a reply, instead waiting what ridiculous notion Jongdae had come up with this time and merely raising an eyebrow in question.

“Not knowing about the divinity, the machinations behind every human life, forever grasping at straws and never coming near with the conclusion – well one of the souls I’ve reaped certainly got it right but that’s not the point,” Jongdae paused as the waiter comes over and brings them over the menu.

He rattles of his usual order and Kyungsoo settled for a cup of coffee.

“I rather like humans,” Kyungsoo said as Jongdae gapes at him in shock. He shrugs in reply. He sometimes wondered what his past was like – whatever could have happened that led him to sin so gravely he had to pay for it. If given the chance, he might do better the next time around.

“But why? They waste their lives around, don’t you want to be a reaper forever? We’re doing something of importance, something great.”

“I don’t know about that. We just have jobs and at the end of the day, that’s all we have but these humans – they have a life. I rather envy them for that, I suppose. And in case you’ve forgotten, this is punishment, not some vacation.”

Jongdae snaps his mouth shut. Kyungsoo guesses he was right after all. The waiter comes over with their drinks along with Jongdae’s cake and they sit in companionable silence. Jongdae usually fills it with his usual banter to make up for Kyungsoo’s quietness but he supposes today is an exception. Kyungsoo brings the warm cup over his lips, the rich scent intoxicating, and blowing on it to let it cool. If there was one thing he learned about the human world, it was that coffee hadn’t changed in all of his time reaping.

“When is your next reaping?”

Jongdae frowns at his question and reaches back into the inside pockets of his suit. He pulls out a red envelope and inside it is a small name card of the soon-to-be deceased. His eyes widen comically upon reading and he hurries eating his food – stuffing everything in his mouth all at once. Kyungsoo drinks his coffee leisurely.

“I got to go,” Jongdae said through mouthful of food that Kyungsoo scrunches his nose in disgust. It’s appalling, really. Kyungsoo nods in understanding and Jongdae grins at him, with food stuck in his teeth, before leaving in a haste. Only when the latter had gotten through the door that Kyungsoo realized he’d been left to pay for his share.

He sighs, pulling out his wallet and counting his bills. Despite what many might think, it’s a struggle to live with the mortals especially when you don’t have a job. It’s not like the old times any more where you can just pick any job and still reap. He sees the waiter from the corner of his eyes stride towards him – there goes his only shot for his disappearing act – and looms threateningly.

“How much is it?” Kyungsoo sighed. Rent is pretty steep nowadays.

The waiter looks like he’d rather be anywhere but here beside Kyungsoo, wearing a scowl that would have sent anyone else running. He glances at Kyungsoo’s mostly empty wallet and sighs as if the mere presence of Kyungsoo’s wallet is depressing. Which, case in point. Kyungsoo looks at him intently, waiting for him to answer his question. People always find it eerie when he does that, the not-speaking until spoken to kind of thing.

“It’s fine. I’ll put it on my tab.” The waiter says, brows furrowed before leaving with the same scowl. Kyungsoo stares at his retreating back, not really sure if he’s going to be insulted or delighted. On one hand, he’s at least able to pay for the food he ordered and on the other – he’s running thin on the budget. Especially when dry cleaning his clothes is a must. He finds himself drawn towards the waiter in strange fascination. He was tall, tanned and not to be cliché – handsome.

He must’ve felt Kyungsoo’s stare because he looks up from what he’s doing and, realizing it was still Kyungsoo, scowls even further. Kyungsoo can’t shake the feeling that he knows this guy, something familiar about his face that he can’t quite put a finger on. He tears his eyes away from the tanned man and looks at his clock. It’s almost time for his next reaping and he stands up, peeks another not so subtle glance at the waiter who nods at him in goodbye before walking out the door.

Kyungsoo crosses the street, patting his suit to make sure his wallet is still in place. He doesn’t feel the small budge of his wallet and glances back towards the restaurant. He must’ve left it in a daze – he supposes he could collect it later lest he risks being late for his next reaping and losing the soul he’s meant to guide back. He frowns and continues on his walk across the road, hearing a faint ‘Hey!’ from the background. He ignores it in favor of catching up with his bus.

“You forgot your wallet!”

Kyungsoo recognizes the voice this time and promptly looks back. He sees the waiter holding out his wallet in his hand and running after him. What he fails to see is the oncoming car on his way in an attempt to make it before the red lights come on. Kyungsoo’s eyes widened and he finds himself moving on instinct – snapping his fingers and appearing before the guy – pushing him out of the way. They tumble down together in a heap on the sidewalk. The car’s screeching tiles brought looks from pedestrians and the car honks angrily at them before driving away like he hadn’t almost hit a guy.

“What were you thinking?” Kyungsoo’s eyes widened as he realized what he just did. He just saved a life. That – that wasn’t supposed to happen. The guy looks shaken as he slumps on the ground, looking up at Kyungsoo with wide eyes.

“You weren’t – you were there and then,” He paled as he sizes Kyungsoo up and down. He snapped his mouth shut. “You’re a ghost?” He asked and Kyungsoo feels indignant at being mistaken for something else.

His lips twist in annoyance and the card on his hand changes the name written on it. He was supposed to reap a guy called Lee Jinki and instead it changes to Kim Jongin. He glances at the guy who’s still pretty shaken about the whole thing and decides to ignore him.

Kyungsoo frowned at the name in the card. Something about it seemed so familiar and yet, he couldn’t recall. He puts on his black hat and gets right into business; tugging his suit down and brushing off imaginary dust. Right, still – a job is a job. He looks at the name again, the words rolling off easily in his tongue.

Kim Jongin, born on January 14.

“What?” The waiter asked and Kyungsoo startles away. He wasn’t supposed to be seen by a mortal. He pats his hat to make sure he’s put it on properly and it’s still there to his confusion.

“Can you,” Kyungsoo paused as he sees eyes meet his, “see me?”

“Shit. I didn’t know you were a ghost. But your wallet—” The waiter puts it up to inspect it gingerly. “—and how did you know my name?”

Kyungsoo feels dread crawl up his spine. He fucked up, that’s what this is.

“You’re Kim Jongin? Born on January 14?” He asked, rubbing a hand against his face. This isn’t good. Something from the upper management must’ve messed something up because – wait, no – he deliberately saved the guy who ran after him to give him back his wallet. If there is one thing he learned in this business, it was that there are no coincidences. It’s all fate.

“Yeah but how did you know that?”

Kyungsoo sighed, “You were supposed to die. I shouldn’t have saved you.”

“Are you crazy?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo blinks at him, taken aback by the sudden accusation. Before he can open his mouth in protest – Jongin shoves his wallet into his chest and stalks back to way of the café from earlier, muttering about Kyungsoo being weird and whatnot. He doesn’t even realize the looks he’d garnered from passerby’s who’s seen him talking in midair. Kyungsoo stares back at the name – it doesn’t have a specified death now but no doubt it will change. Right? After all, that was how it’s supposed to be.

Kyungsoo pulls out the rest of his designated name cards and finds nothing else had changed except for Lee Jinki changing into Jongin. He decides to visit the guy anyways, just to make sure. He snaps himself inside a bus and rides it until he reaches his destination. It was a hospital. He sees several reapers on his way to Lee Jinki’s room and they bow at him in return. He’s older than most of them – the younger batches are more likely to get jobs in the hospital before working their way up to everyday life.

A hand grabs his shoulder. “You’re reaping here, too?” Jongdae asked.

Kyungsoo looks behind him and behind Jongdae before pulling him aside where there are no other reapers lingering around.

“I’ve made a mistake.” He said, because despite what anyone else had said – he’s not that strong when it comes to solving problems on his own, and definitely not with something as big as this. The cosmic balance is threatened and he’s pretty sure there are some consequences that comes with it. He’d be lucky if all he gets from this is another 10 years in his sentence.

“What did you do?” Jongdae asked, not questioning why they’re suddenly in an empty room. Kyungsoo paces around. He sees bare white walls and the smell of alcohol in the air. It leaves his stomach feeling a little sick.

“I saved a soul,”

“What?!” Jongdae exclaimed.

“In my defense, I didn’t know it was his soul I was supposed to be reaping. The – the name changed after I saved him. He went after me and was supposed to get hit by a speeding car.” Kyungsoo explained, running a frustrated hand on his hair. This is a disaster.

“Oh,” Jongdae said, visibly relaxing. Kyungsoo narrows his eyes at him. “He’s probably a missing soul. You haven’t encountered one before, right? I did, way back in uh, 1950s. It will sort out itself immediately although,” He takes a breath, “I haven’t heard of a reaper meddling with a life. That’s not supposed to happen and if you’re in any way responsible for his life,” Jongdae trailed off.

Kyungsoo gapes at him, he can’t possibly be insinuating – no.

“I can’t kill a human!” Kyungsoo hissed in reply. Jongdae flinches but his expression remains the same.

“Well, maybe it will sort itself out. I’ll ask around and inquire about your situation,”

“No! That’s – you can’t tell anyone.”

“I’ll leave out the part that it’s you. Things aren’t exactly going to be in the right order when it comes to missing souls. Accidents around him will happen. Misfortune will follow him.”

“What do I do?” Kyungsoo asked, this is one of the moments he was grateful he had Jongdae as a friend.

“Keep an eye on the human and well, make sure he dies?” Jongdae trailed off, not really sure what to do in this situation. “Just, keep an eye on him.”

“There’s one more thing, he can see me.”

Jongdae frowned. “That just confirms it. Try reaping his soul anyways, maybe that’ll work?”

Kyungsoo nods, he hadn’t tried guiding the soul to his tea house yet. That might work.

“Are you reaping a soul here?” Jongdae asked and Kyungsoo is reminded of why he went to the hospital in the first place. Kyungsoo nods and shows the name card to Jongdae who reads it.

“Before this changed, it was Lee Jinki. I’m trying to see if he’s already passed or if he’s still alive.”

Jongdae gestures for Kyungsoo to follow him. They went through halls, avoiding from colliding with humans all over the place who’s frantically saving lives. Kyungsoo takes his time to peek at every room they pass by. He sees families beside their loved ones, a mother holding her newborn child, a boy with a cast on his arm and one girl who got tubes in her all over the place. He thinks his heart maybe breaks a little although it’s not supposed to. Soon, they arrive at Lee Jinki’s room. It was freshly aired out and a reaper stands beside the bed. Jongdae nods at him in acknowledgement.

“Hello sir, I’m Kim from batch 43. Nice to meet you,” The newbie greets them and Jongdae waves him off. He looked pale as a ghost with broad shoulders to match. He’s taller than both Jongdae and Kyungsoo although visibly younger. In another life, he could have been a model, Kyungsoo thought.

“Did you just reap a soul here?” Jongdae casually asks, eyes trained on the bed.

The newbie shakes his head, Kyungsoo tries not to panic.

“He didn’t die, sir. It was also weird how the name card changed. I haven’t encountered something like this before. Are you here to fix it?” His cold eyes drifts toward them, Kyungsoo thinks he might know why the kid’s a grim reaper after all.

“Yeah, something changed but don’t worry, it’s already fixed. Just do your job as you normally would,” Jongdae instructs him with ease and the kid bows, offering goodbyes before leaving them alone in the room. As soon as the newbie is out of earshot, Jongdae shares a look with Kyungsoo.

This can’t be good. Something actually changed. One missing soul is good but two at the same span? That was unheard of. Not to mention, Jinki might not even be a missing soul anymore – his name isn’t in any of their cards. Jongdae picks up the doctor’s notes at the foot of the bed. The patient was supposed to be dying from lung cancer, he was in the last stages of the disease but by some miracle he was up and about.

Jongdae guesses he’d probably be poked and prodded by doctors due to this miraculous event, hell if he was one he probably would too.

“Well, he’s not a missing soul,” Jongdae says, eyes fixed on the medical notes. There is absolutely no way that the patient could have suddenly become healthy without explanation. Well, unless for the meddling of the divinity of course.

In the meantime, all Kyungsoo could do was observe the missing soul – something that proves to be a much harder task now that he can’t turn conveniently invisible to him whenever he wanted to do. Things were so much easier when there are rules and order in the world. Kyungsoo is currently seated across the café into another restaurant. It was a pretty calculated distance that ensured him to watch him while not close enough to be taken notice of.

The guy, Kim Jongin, seems to be a pretty hard worker. There’s only two of them in the café and not that much people coming in and going – and yet, he can’t keep still in one place. He keeps moving around and finding stuff to do inside the café, which should have clued in more than it did to Kyungsoo; he now realized. Either Kim Jongin is a pretty decent guy or he’s probably trying not to take notice of an extra pair of eyes staring at him.

In Kyungsoo’s defense, whether he is a missing soul or not he’s still a pretty good catch. Plump lips, brown hair, almond eyes, and a perfect shoulder to waist ratio. If Kyungsoo were alive, he would’ve whistled at the sight. As it turns out, all he can do is stare longingly from afar. While paying for his order, Kyungsoo is stuck with a ridiculous idea that should have been stopped if there was anyone listening. With a determined set of shoulders, he strides across the road to thank Jongin personally.

After all, this wouldn’t have happened if Kyungsoo hadn’t forgotten about his wallet in the first place. When the Jongin clocks out of the café, Kyungsoo follows him home with his hat on his head. He tried to be sneaky about it but judging from the furtive glances sent his way – he was probably failing, although Jongin never uttered a word and instead chose to glare at him every chance he got. By the time they reached his house, he stops by his gate and sighs loudly. Kyungsoo comes to a stop in his step and looks at him curiously.

“Okay, just get on with it.” Jongin says, unlocking his gate with difficulty. The rust had already developed on the lock. Kyungsoo looks around to make sure he’s not talking to anyone else.

“Sorry?”

“Tell me what you want and stop following me already. What’s your unfinished business?”

Kyungsoo’s brows furrowed, Jongin refused to make eye contact as he kept his eyes in front of him.

“What unfinish—oh,”

“Do you want me to pick your grave flowers or something? Get a message to a loved one? Just, will you please stop following me? It’s creepy,”

Kyungsoo nods, he’s forgotten the proper etiquette of being a human being in the past years of his work as a grim reaper. Right, this is awkward.

“I’m not a ghost, although technically, I did die. I’m here to collect your soul,”

Kyungsoo expected to be met with shock and devastation – not irritation, if the way Jongin twists his mouth in a frown. Kyungsoo tilts his head, curious.

“Right, you don’t believe me.”

“Listen, you’re not the first one to claim that you’re alive.”

“Oh no, I’m not saying I’m alive. But I do have a corporeal form. It’s odd that you see ghosts, seeing as you’re human although, I probably shouldn’t be surprised given that you’ve dealt with a near-death experience,”

“What?”

“I’m a reaper. Grim reaper is the term you humans liked to call us though in my opinion – we’re not all that grim. Hold my hand, will you please?” Kyungsoo asks, holding out his hand.

Jongin glares at the offending hand like it personally injured him. Kyungsoo waits patiently as the seconds tick by, it’s not like he’s in a rush anyways. When he doesn’t do anything, Jongin finally sighs and relents – reaching out to grasp his hand and Kyungsoo flinched at the onslaught of memories after memories. His past life, his whole life – everything buried deep in his soul. Before he had any chance of deciphering any of those memories, Kyungsoo hastily pulled away. He’s alive after all. He wouldn’t even have been able to touch him if he wasn’t. He looks up and sees Jongin’s wide eyes, akin to earlier’s impending outburst.

“That’s not possible,” The other whispers, shocked. His expression quickly changes into something of an anger – brows furrowed and mouth set in a thin line. He stares at Kyungsoo’s hand in disbelief. Kyungsoo straightens his jacket and tries his best to look dignified. He’s not sure whether to be insulted or flattered, after all, this is the first time he ever introduced himself to a mortal. He could, he supposes, still erase his memories if all of this went sideways but a part of him also wanted to see what was going to happen. He’s never encountered a missing soul before.

Kyungsoo shrugs, the light dimming from behind him and Jongin takes a step back. Although he must have regretted the way his body betrayed him by the way he puffed out his chest indignantly as if the past second never happened. It was normal to be scared, Kyungsoo says to himself. If he were mortal – he probably wouldn’t but most would. Even newly-deceased have a harder time accepting their new predicament, a missing soul with a living body wouldn’t be different.

To his surprise, he was invited inside for tea. Something that he found hasn’t been offered to him in a hundred or so years, given that he’s always the one who offers. He doesn’t explain much and Jongin is too busy mulling the idea in his head to even ask any questions. If you ask Kyungsoo, he’d tell you this is one of the rarest form of peace he has encountered in a decade. They sit in a companiable silence and drink tea. His home looked cozy from the inside, warm colors and a few beige here and there.

“Thank you for the tea,” Kyungsoo said, clearing his throat from the lump that suddenly formed there.

Jongin nods, not quite looking at him in the eye.

“What happens now?” He asked.

Kyungsoo purses his lips, he’s not sure either. His attempt in taking him earlier was futile, given that they can’t really take a life unless their timer’s up.

“We wait for you to die,” Kyungsoo said, tensing up when he’s met with a fearsome glare.

“How do I die?” He grits through his teeth.

“Well, that part’s tricky. See, it will never be a disease so it will be sudden and swift. Something we cannot prevent, unlike what I did, uh, earlier.”

Jongin furrows his eyebrows and then Kyungsoo sees his eye clear in understanding. “You saved me?”

“I didn’t mean to?” Kyungsoo replied, sheepishly. There’s no actual protocol for this. He fiddles with his cup and gently brings it back onto the table, sighing. If only there was some sort of training for these kind of things.

Jongin nods, more to himself. “For what’s it worth, thank you.” He said to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say to that. Jongin looks at the pictures of his nephew, his only family member left and now he’s going to leave him all alone. “I at least have some more time to say goodbye for what you did.” He says.

Kyungsoo fidgets in his seat uncomfortably, something that did not go unnoticed by Jongin’s sharp eyes. The latter merely narrows his eyes at him and Kyungsoo sighs, finally relenting to tell the truth. Not that it matters anyways, the outcome will always be the same.

“I, uh, we’re not sure when this will happen. It could be any second, any day or well, any month from now.”

Jongin does not gape at him but judging by the way his eyes twitched in irritation and disbelief, it was a near thing. Kyungsoo avoids his eyes.

“Right, for the mean time I’m going to be keeping a close eye on you.” Kyungsoo adds hastily as he’s becoming more and more unsettled by the silence. He’s actually behind rent at this time of month since he was busy with his last reaping and trying to get some rest that he’s forgotten to collect his dues. And well, considering they didn’t have a real job in the first place – it was only a matter of time before he’s kicked out of his house.

“You don’t know when I’m going to die.” Jongin stated, deadpan. Kyungsoo tries not to wilt under the stare.

 Kyungsoo nods, holding his hat by his thighs. It’s useless when Jongin’s in the room though. “We haven’t encountered many souls like yours. We have what we call missing souls, those who do not have name in birth and should have never existed but lived long enough to have a life. You don’t exactly fit into that category but we will still be calling you that since you’re, well—”

“My name is Jongin.”

“—supposed to die—I’m sorry, what?”

“Call me Jongin. I have a name.”

“Right. Sorry, I tend to forget these kinds of things sometimes.”

“And you?”

Kyungsoo stares at him. No one’s asked before – everyone knew everyone’s name or well, number in their case as they seem to share the same surname. All nameless grim reapers who’ve been bound for centuries to repent for their sins. Sins that they don’t even have a memory of.

He smiles, “Technically, we don’t have one. Although I’ve somehow stuck to the name Kyungsoo in most of my documented papers here in the human world. It ah, means bright and flowering, I gathered.” Kyungsoo continues on, unaware of Jongin’s minute stiffness at the mention of it. The name was a gift from a friend, Kyungsoo liked to think they were at least friends in the minutes they’d spent together no matter how dire the situations had become.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin muttered and Kyungsoo stopped rambling. His face flushed unthinkingly and he blinks at Jongin in surprise.

“Yes,” He said although it came out more like a question than an answer.

“Where do you live?” Jongin asked, a pinch between his eyebrows.

Kyungsoo’s brain stuttered into a halt, that was one question he wasn’t always asked about. Dying people are more concerned about where they are going to be rather than ask their reaper about his living situations. He imagines that this is what it would be like if he were mortal, still. He hesitated to answer since he was currently without a human job and been recently kicked off of his apartment. It must’ve shown in his face since Jongin sighs, once again.

He has a habit of looking disappointed at Kyungsoo, something the latter has come to be slightly irritated at.

“I have a guest bedroom,” Jongin starts, looking at the other end of the brightly lit hallway. Granted, it was a small house but still a house nonetheless.

Kyungsoo frowns, there are a lot of advantage in being able to keep an eye on the missing soul – not to mention the cost of living would definitely dwindle down. The problem was becoming attached. He was able to do his job properly and without fail because of his one rule in his life. Humans are complicated matters and getting tangled with them isn’t the best course of action for Kyungsoo’s sanity.

Not to mention, being pitied by a human has offended him in ways he didn’t even imagine.

Jongin stares at him intently and Kyungsoo quickly schooled down his expression. He has a habit of showing everything he was thinking on his face according to Jongdae.

“Look, I have a spare bedroom whether you’re here or not. You can help pay rent if it seems like charity work to you.” Jongin said.

“If-if it wouldn’t be too much trouble then, thank you.” Kyungsoo said, wondering how they got here.

“A reaper with manners,” Jongin snorted and the stiffness in Kyungsoo’s shoulders eased. He’s looking at Jongin like he’s something alien. “What?” Jongin asked, when he notices him studying his features.

“Why would you invite me into your home? You don’t know me.”

Jongin shrugs, already getting up. “Surely I’m not the first one to show you kindness,” He says offhandedly and when Kyungsoo attempts to stand up, he waves a hand at him. “I’ll go get started on dinner.”

Kyungsoo feels breathless. He’s forgotten how compassionate humans can be, he was desensitized in the past centuries of collecting souls that it was becoming a habit. To expect the worst of them reduces his chances of being disappointed but this was a pleasant surprise.


	2. audere est facere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this chapter changed the overall rating of the series.

ii.

Jongin frowned at him, his forehead creasing and the corner of his lips turning down. Kyungsoo stopped eating, looked at his food and then back at Jongin. He waves his fork at Jongin in an offering gesture to which the latter merely heaved a sigh at. Kyungsoo didn’t know what he did wrong. Jongin stopped wiping the counters and moved towards where he was seated. The people in the café had dwindled down to Kyungsoo and another couple at the back.

“Is this what you’re going to do until I die?” Jongin asked. He has one hand on his waist, the other on the rug he’d used to wipe the counter.

“What? It’s a waiting game,” Kyungsoo reasoned, frowning as he took another bite from his tiramisu. It’s good. The cocoa powder sticking through the roof of his mouth.

“Do you have any work left to do?”

Kyungsoo tilted his head. As far as he’s concerned, he’s met his quota for the day. But that isn’t always right, people still die no matter what the time. “Not that I know of,” He replied. He finished off his tiramisu before looking up again at Jongin’s unimpressive stare. He does that a lot. Stare at Kyungsoo, that is.

“Come out the back and help me with the dishes.” Jongin said before walking back towards the back of the counter. Kyungsoo wonders how he’s got this place up and going with that attitude – given that his smile looks more like a grimace whenever customers come in. Though, he supposes, more of Jongin’s frequent customers were girls. They probably come in here to see him.

Kyungsoo takes his plate towards the back and sees Jongin managing with another person in the back. Jongin gives him a once-over, Kyungsoo looks down at his own clothes. He’s still wearing a three-pieced suit, his hat tucked under his arm.

“I have an extra pair of clothes at the lockers, go get changed or you’ll ruin your clothes.” Jongin nodded towards a room. Kyungsoo sees the other guy smile at him and mustered up a somewhat human grin. He went to the lockers and sees clothes neatly folded on top of a chair. There was an also extra piece of hanger and he used that to hang his suit. He gingerly puts on the black t-shirt where it hung loosely on his shoulders. He inspected the hem of his shirt – he was used to wearing suits that it felt naked without them.

After changing, he went out to find Jongin who is now busy cleaning the dishes. The other guy that he saw earlier is nowhere near the back, Kyungsoo assumes he must have taken the counter duty. Jongin showed him where everything went and Kyungsoo follows his example, carefully washing the dishes and stacking them onto the dryer.

“You know, you could say no if you wanted to. I was just testing you,” Jongin mumbled from beside him. The last words a grumble under his breath. Kyungsoo shrugged. He found that he liked it, and he tells Jongin so.

“And don’t worry, I’ll pay for the rent.”

“That’s not what I mean. You can stay for a while, we do alright.”

“You know, this is a good time to fill that bucket list.” Kyungsoo mused, taking a glance at Jongin from the corner of his eyes.

“My bucket list is trying not to let my nephew die from his stupidity.” Jongin said. And then he seemed sad for a while that Kyungsoo regretted opening his mouth in the first place. He’d forgotten death and the people it carries.

“Your nephew,” Kyungsoo asked although it should have been obvious. He remembered the other guy earlier, the one who gave him a smile. It looked almost identical to Jongin’s. He would’ve thought they were brothers.

“Jeno. He’s twenty. He helps around the shop on the days he doesn’t have classes.”

Kyungsoo stared at him, “How old are you?”

Jongin raised one dark brow at him, “Why? How old are you?”

“Three thousand, give or take.” Kyungsoo said. Those were the years he spent on the job or punishment as they like to call it. Probably older since he didn’t know when his soul was born.

Jongin nods, unfazed at this point. Kyungsoo thinks he has good instincts. They continue to clean the shop past closing, Kyungsoo tended to the chairs and the tables while Jongin took care of cleaning the machinery. Jeno was out back throwing away the trash. Kyungsoo offered to cook, he’s not as good as Jongin but seeing the both of them exhausted as it was – he couldn’t, in good conscience let them work anymore.

Jongin seemed surprise, Kyungsoo thinks they were actually going to go to bed hungry. He cooked them a simple pork tonkatsu dinner, rice and reheated some of the leftovers he found in the fridge. Jeno gave him a thumbs up, asking for seconds as his appetite is no doubt still building. Jongin didn’t give any indications he liked or hated the food which also counted as a win in Kyungsoo’s vocabulary. Over the course of the month – with Kyungsoo occasionally trying to see if Jongin’s soul can be reaped – he continued to work at the little café shop.

Kyungsoo seemed to have build a fanbase of his own, teenage girls huddled in one corner of the shop and giggling whenever he comes over to take their order. He smiles at them kindly while Jongin seemed to be uneasy at the sudden spike in customers. Jongin showed him how to make coffee and how to work the machineries but he never could get it the same taste as Jongin does so he opted at staying out back or taking orders.

The bell rings, a weird feeling settling at the pit of Kyungsoo’s stomach as he looked up to greet the newcomer with a practiced smile. He and Jongdae’s eyes meet. Jongdae looked at him up and down but doesn’t say anything. He takes the seat at the far corner without a word. Kyungsoo takes a glance at Jongin who’s now busy making orders behind the counter.

“Hey, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae said as he sat. He places his black hat that was previously tucked under his arm on the table. Kyungsoo’s been used to his normal clothes that now, facing Jongdae without his suit makes him feel a little more vulnerable than he would have liked.

“Jongdae,” Kyungsoo replied. A pen and note in his hand.

“Take a seat.” Jongdae said. He gestured at the empty seat before him.

“I’m a bit occupied today. Can we have this conversation another day?”

Kyungsoo felt Jongdae study his face. He tries his best not to squirm under scrutiny. “You know this,” Jongdae gestures at him in general, “whatever this is you’re doing, is going to bite you in the ass.”

“His soul cannot be reaped yet,” Kyungsoo said. He wished it didn’t come off as a whine.

Jongdae shakes his head. “No. That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”

“I don’t know what you mean,”

Jongdae narrows his eyes at him. “You’re playing human. Sooner or later someone’s going to get hurt. We’re supposed to be neutral. We’re not supposed to have attachments.”

“I’m not violating any rule.”

“You are. You just don’t want to admit it. What you’re doing is dangerous not only for him but for us. Divine punishment is worse than we can ever imagine, Kyungsoo. I’m saying this because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Kyungsoo startles as Jongin comes up behind him, a dark expression looming on his face as he settles a hand on Kyungsoo’s arm. He wished he hadn’t felt as calm as he had with Jongin’s hand steadying him.

“Something wrong here?” Jongin asked.

Jongdae looked between them. He stares a little longer at the hand that lingered on Kyungsoo’s arm. He shakes his head, taking his hat from the table.

“No. I was just leaving.” He said. He gives Kyungsoo a meaningful look one last time before putting his hat on and getting out of the café. Kyungsoo heaves a sigh after him.

“You okay?” Jongin asked, his expression no longer menacing as it was before. “Tell me if anyone bothers you and I’ll put them in their place.” He promised.

Kyungsoo waves a hand at him, “I’m fine. He wasn’t bringing trouble.” He looks out for any sign on Jongin’s face that he knew Jongdae, or what Jongdae is. He doesn’t seem to have recognized the pressed suit and uncanny hat. Although, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise considering the number of customers who goes in everyday wearing a suit.

“Alright,” Jongin said. “Let’s finish up early so we can still shop for dinner.”

Kyungsoo nodded as he stared at Jongin’s retreating back. Two customers from the other side of the shop got up to leave. Kyungsoo hurries after them.

“Thank you for coming,” He parroted after them as the other girl gives him a small smile.

“—that’s scary, I hope the police finds them soon,” the one with the short hair finished saying. She notices her companion smile at Kyungsoo, and she turns to him. “You guys should be careful too.”

Kyungsoo looked at her in confusion, a smile faltering on his face. The one with the long hair pulls her friend out of the shop – giving him a friendly wave. Kyungsoo waves back, turning the close sign in front of the shop as there are no more customers left.

They close up the shop earlier than what Kyungsoo was used to. The sky is graying but there’s still some light left enough before dinner. When they reach the grocery, Jongin grabs a trolley while Kyungsoo happily trails alongside him – casually checking out food from the shelves. Humans had been very progressive in developing easier food products, he thinks, as he inspects the row of cup noodles neatly stacked on one shelf. There are different flavors, some he hadn’t even heard of. Kyungsoo doesn’t really need to eat – their bodies aren’t human so he can get by without eating. Still, he does enjoy eating now and again just to remind him of what it was like to be human.

These days, he’d grown used to regularly eating at the insistence of Jongin who’d glare his way out if he hadn’t grabbed a bite or two.

“Do you want that?” Jongin asked from behind him. Kyungsoo turns to look at him and sees the graying patch of hair at his temples. Kyungsoo suddenly thinks how endearing he looks.

“No.” He blushed.

Jongin must have mistaken his blush for embarrassment as he rolls his eyes and grabs two cup noodles from the shelf. Kyungsoo doesn’t correct him.

They pass by a set of tv’s showing tonight’s news and Kyungsoo briefly gets a glimpse of a guard’s beaten face when Jongin calls him to hurry up. Kyungsoo jogs up after him and they finish their shopping with a few more vegetables in the trolley along with some meat Kyungsoo hastily picked for Jeno. Living with the kid made him feel more responsible if not for the kid’s immaturity and certain drive to pull pranks out of nowhere.  

They arrive to the counter, Jongin neatly piling their grocery while the lady behind the cashier scans it with practiced speed, not so subtly glancing between the two of them. Kyungsoo pays her no mind as he grabs the items and stack them into place in their brought eco-bag. Jongin, to his surprise looks more and more uncomfortable by the second if the thinning of his lips was any indication.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked, not quite looking up from where he’s bagging their grocery. Once, he made a mistake of assuming what Jongin was thinking and got an earful along with him sulking the entire day. So, unless he got a better read on the latter’s temperament, he’d rather ask.

“Nothing.” Jongin said through gritted teeth.

The lady behind the cashier smiled at the two of them as Jongin paid in cash. She drops the change into Jongin’s hand all the while with a huge smile plastered on her young face. “You guys look cute together,” She said.

Kyungsoo blinked at her and then at Jongin’s stony face. He sighed before grabbing the bag from Kyungsoo’s hand and walking out. Kyungsoo saw the cashier wave at him and he waved back on instinct before jogging after Jongin.

They walk in silence towards home – it’s a few blocks away from the coffee shop but it gives a good walking exercise every morning.

“You know, you could’ve just said we weren’t a couple back there if you’re so agitated,” Kyungsoo said.

Jongin sighed again. “I’m not,”

“Then why? There’s nothing wrong—”

“—I know there’s nothing wrong.” Jongin snapped at him. He rubs a hand against his face, “It’s just that I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

Kyungsoo gave him a confused look, “I’m not uncomfortable. Are you uncomfortable?”

“I’m not – stop saying uncomfortable, you’re making me uncomfortable.”

Kyungsoo giggled. He slaps a hand on his mouth, giggling on his palm uncontrollably. Jongin’s mouth twitched into a small smile that was gone as soon as Kyungsoo saw it.

-

“Your friend, earlier, what was that about?” Jongin asked. Ah, so he did notice.

Kyungsoo shrugged, forcing himself to calm down even with his heart racing as fast as it was. “Just catching up,”

“You didn’t look like you were catching up to me. You didn’t want him there,”

Kyungsoo blinked at Jongin. He hadn’t realized how much he’s projecting through body language – Jongdae was right – he was just playing human. He’s bound to catch some of their humanity in some way or another – make him vulnerable, make him impossible to do his job better. Jongin’s worried face come into view and Kyungsoo quickly schooled his expression to neutral. He couldn’t do that. He’d gone too attached.

“Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked. Kyungsoo ached at the way his voice sounded. He’s not used to Jongin showing some kind of vulnerability – especially not to him.

“I should go.” Kyungsoo said. He stood up from where he was sitting and untied the apron at his back. Jongin’s hand surged up to stop him.

“Where are you going?” Jongin’s voice sounded frantic. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why – no – he refused to parse through the emotions and logic behind it.

“I don’t know,” Kyungsoo said honestly. He slowly pulled Jongin’s grip on his wrist and finished untying the apron. Jongin is just another soul, there was no reason for Kyungsoo’s heart to break at the thought of parting with him. “And besides, why do you care?”

Jongin gritted his teeth, visibly upset. Kyungsoo studied his face for a moment. He looks at the hard lines on Jongin’s face and feels a little light-headed.

“Are you jealous?” He asked, tentatively. When Jongin froze, he almost thought he’d made a mistake – and then the latter sighed. He rubs a hand across his face, like talking about emotions makes him physically ill. Not that Kyungsoo would put it past him.

“Stay.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to say to that. Some part of him did want to say even with the voice at the back of his head saying this was just some sort of infatuation – it happens but not enough to be serious about – especially not with a missing soul. He looks at Jongin’s face, committing every feature into memory. Kyungsoo places a hand on Jongin’s cheek. He doesn’t know what prompted him to do that and hastily pulls it away only for Jongin to stop him.

Jongin grabs his hand and places a chaste kiss on the inside of his wrist, his eyes never leaving Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo’s heart raced in his chest and he could almost feel it pulsing on every part of his body. Jongin’s mouth looked sinful, wrapped around his pulse and warm breath ghosting over his wrist. He pulls Kyungsoo against him – one hand on the side of Kyungsoo’s neck.

“I want you to tell me if you want me to stop,” Jongin’s voice dropped an octave. His breathing’s labored and his pupils are blown.

Kyungsoo does the only thing that made sense to him in the moment and pulled Jongin down to meet his lips. Their kiss bruising and more teeth than Kyungsoo was used to. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he thinks as his hands roam around against Jongin’s broad back, as Jongin hoisted him up on the counter with ease that tightens his pants even more than it already is.

Jongin’s mouth moved on his neck, sucking a bruise on unmarred skin as he makes his way down – Kyungsoo groans, the sound only fueling Jongin’s pace as he undoes Kyungsoo’s zipper and kneels on the floor. Kyungsoo gasps at the cold air, even as he sees Jongin’s eyes asking for permission. He nods his head minutely, grabbing hold of Jongin’s hair as he licks a stripe on his cock. Kyungsoo mutters a curse even as Jongin chuckled.

The sound of the doorbell ringing made the both of them jump. Even as Jongin groaned and Kyungsoo sucks in a sharp breath. Kyungsoo quickly jumps down the counter and pulls his pants back up, Jongin boxing him in with his arms on either side of Kyungsoo.

“I mean it.” Jongin said, closing his eyes shut as he leans his forehead against Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo chuckles, lets his breath leave him even as he wraps a hand against the back of Jongin’s neck, rubbing soothing circles with his thumb.

“I’ll stay,” Kyungsoo said, studying his face. He leaned up for a chaste kiss before ushering Jongin out to get to the door. Kyungsoo heads to the bathroom, planning on a cold shower instead.

Jeno’s later than normal today – usually he’s home before dinner or calls ahead of time if he’s going to be later than normal. Choosing to contact Kyungsoo instead of his uncle since Jongin wasn’t really ever much for phones – or anything remotely advanced than a television. He steps into the shower and tries not to think too hard about Jongin. About what he means to him.

He hears something like glass break and turns the shower off.

“Everything all right?” He calls out. He hears nothing and then something heavy falling on the floor. His phone rings on the bathroom counter and Jeno’s name pop up on the screen – Kyungsoo hurriedly wraps a towel on his torso and heads out of the bathroom. A bad feeling crawling into his gut.

He saw Jongin lying in a pool of his own blood by the door – the vase beside him shattered. Kyungsoo felt his heart drop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> latin chapter titles from:  
> 1.) https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/latin-words-and-phrases-every-man-should-know/
> 
> Also, please point out any mistakes I've made. I'm still in the process of editing the whole series.


	3. dulcius ex asperis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: when you read past the twenty years ago there will be some disturbing scenes of abuse for some minor characters, you can skip it since what happened twenty years ago had been more or less implied in the first chapter

iii.

His hands were shaking when he dialed the numbers, one hand was pressing over Jongin’s wounds and there were too many of them for Kyungsoo to hold so he wrapped a towel all over his stomach to prevent him from bleeding out. He’s still wrapped in just a towel while Jongin lay pale and ashen on the ground, struggling to breathe.

“You’ll be okay, it’s okay – everything’s going to be fine,” He said, even as panic rose in his voice. There’s just _too much_ blood. He knew this was going to happen and he still wasn’t prepared.

The ride to the ambulance felt longer than it probably was – he insisted on coming along even when one of the responders gave him an odd look. Kyungsoo didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed at the moment even when he’s cladded in nothing but a towel. He was given a clean t-shirt to wear along with some fire pants that was a tad bit too big for him. He kept his hand firmly grasping on Jongin’s pulse, feeling it beat under his fingertips.

The police arrived to get some statements. Apparently, a few inmates who were supposed to be transferred the other day had escaped – an image of a bodyguard’s face popped into his mind – and they wanted to show him pictures of the prisoners just to see if he remembered anything. Kyungsoo already told them that he hadn’t seen the attacker and just heard the doorbell rang, he was in the showers, and then he heard Jongin’s body falling onto the ground.

“Well, just look at the pictures and we’ll try to have your friend identify any of them too when he wakes up,” The detective said. He looked kind, there are wrinkles on the edges of his eyes that indicated he’d been smiling a lot. Kyungsoo sighed and the detective opened the folders.

The first guy was bald, a tattoo of something like a scorpion’s tail wrapped around the right side of his neck. Kyungsoo shook his head and the detective shuffled the picture to show another one. The next guy looked younger, probably in his early thirties with a long face and a smug look as his picture was taken. He wondered what the guy was thinking as his photograph was taken. Kyungsoo shook his head.

The third guy was clean shaven, he had an empty look in his eyes that made Kyungsoo’s heart stop. He remembers seeing the guy when he was younger – way younger than he was in the picture. The detective examined his face.

“I take it, you knew this guy? What, he had a grudge on you or something?” The detective asked, studying his face. Kyungsoo wanted to shake his head. He should lie.

“Yeah,” He found himself answering. Kyungsoo rubbed a hand across his face, wondering how the hell he got to this point. The detective took the picture back, looked at the guy and nodded slowly at him.

“Jang Hyunseung. We’ll get him, son.”

Kyungsoo looked at the detective. “Do I need to go down to the station?”

The detective shook his head, “Nah, you stay here for a while. I’ll call you if we need you.” He said after taking a glance at Jongin’s room. They were seated outside, just within view where Jongin’s sleeping form lay. Kyungsoo got up and shook the detective’s hand. He bid his goodbyes and went back to Jongin’s room. Jeno had sat on the other side of the bed with his head slumped beside Jongin’s arm. He looked up when he heard Kyungsoo got in.

“Hey, you can go home first, I can take it from here.” Jeno said, yawning. Kyungsoo mentally noted it was way past 2am at this point. Jeno surprisingly handled the news with maturity that Kyungsoo didn’t even knew he was capable of.

Kyungsoo ruffled his head, “I’m staying, you can go and get some rest before you go back tomorrow.”

Jeno glanced at the hallway where there are two policemen standing guard on the door. “Well, I’m staying too. I guess we’re stuck with each other for a while,” Jeno grinned at him. He hid his worry well, but Kyungsoo can see it in his eyes. The only family he had almost left him.

Kyungsoo nodded and gave Jeno’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll go grab us something to eat.” Kyungsoo said as he went out of the room, taking one last glance at Jongin. He doesn’t know if he can stay beside him with all the guilt eating him up. Kyungsoo swallowed a lump in his throat and turned his back.

 

 

He went to the rooftop – it was locked but it was an easy feat to open with a snap of his fingers. He needed some air but not far enough that the worry will gnaw at him.

Kyungsoo felt his heart drop. Twenty years ago. He felt stupid for not making the connection earlier – but now that he thought about it, the resemblance is uncanny. The same sets of jaw, the same fierceness in their eyes. This is happening because he meddled. This was some sort of pay back for the life he’d saved. He thought about that night twenty years ago. He moved her body in his apartment and made sure he went away in prison for life.

A woman walked towards him, clad in red robes that went way past her knees with a black silk fitted dress underneath. Her heels clacked loudly against the concrete. It shouldn’t have been possible, but Kyungsoo knew her, even if this was his first time seeing her. She offered him a cigarette, something he took gingerly from her delicate hands as she helped him with a light. Kyungsoo thinks of what a fucking coincidence it was to have her appear at the most inopportune moments. 

“There is no such thing as coincidence in this world,” Fate said. Her voice ringing inside his ears as he watched her lips stay closed. She was a beautiful woman – one who rarely shows herself to others and often in disguise when dealing with mortals.

Kyungsoo takes a drag and almost laughs at his predicament – yesterday, he would have taken this chance to meet with Fate as a blessing – now, he’s not so sure.

“Was he supposed to die back then?” Kyungsoo asked, unsure. He just prolonged the inevitable. Fate blinks slowly at him, her crimson red lips pulling into a straight line. She looked almost sorry for a divinity.

“I think you already knew the answer to that,” She takes a long drag from her pipe. Fate exhales and the smoke forms into lovely curls in the air, almost as if they’re bending against her will. She looks young and old. Ugly and beautiful. Something about her just seems to change whenever Kyungsoo loses focus of her in sight. It’s a little disorienting.

This had been a close call – Jongin luckily didn’t suffer any life-threatening injuries. Kyungsoo remembered watching the fall and rise of his chest on the bed. He looked pale. Kyungsoo thinks of trading his life for Jongin’s. Fate shook her head as if reading his mind.

“What am I supposed to do,” He asked although not really needing an answer. He knew, deep down.

Fate doesn’t deign him an answer, merely looks at him and takes another drag.

“What does exist is only the inevitable. There’s a meaning to the fact that you and I met,” Her hair falls to the side as she tilts her head to look at him. “Shall I grant your wish?”

Kyungsoo had never been as sure as he was at that moment.

-

Kyungsoo was there at Jongin’s side when he woke, his eyes blearily scanning the hospital room and only relaxing when he found Kyungsoo. He struggled to sit up as Kyungsoo and Jeno helped him from either side gently.

“Go back to school,” He barked at Jeno, voice rough from not using. Jeno grins at him, giving him a hug that barely touches his chest – afraid of opening up the stitches.

“I’m glad you’re back, uncle,” Jeno said, eyes watery though he quickly wipes at it.

“I never left,” Jongin said. He coughed and the both of them looked around for water – there wasn’t anything in the vicinity.

“I’ll go get some water,” Jeno said, hurriedly as he got out of the room fast. Jongin, to Kyungsoo’s surprise, quickly stopped coughing. He narrows his eyes at the former.

Jongin shrugged, “If I told him I wanted to talk in private, he would’ve sat outside the room and eavesdropped on our conversation,”

Kyungsoo wanted to hit him. Jongin rolled his eyes at his face and merely grabs his arm to pull him on the bed, stitches be damned. Kyungsoo tried to protest, “Jongin–”

“I know I don’t have any more time left but I at least want my last moments to be spent with you,”

“You don’t even know me,” Kyungsoo said, choking up.

Jongin chuckles, “I do. You’re grumpy in the mornings, you’re not functional until after your second coffee, you like to nag us both if the house is unclean – even when it’s not, I know you secretly like Jeno’s pranks especially when it’s directed at me.”

Kyungsoo sighed, running a hand on the side of Jongin’s cheek. Jongin took it as fond exasperation. Kyungsoo thinks he’s being desperately selfish.

“I wish I’d met you sooner,” Jongin said. His eyes surprisingly soft against the light bouncing off the curtains. Kyungsoo held his tongue. He leaned in for a kiss, instead, only Jongin’s palm stopping him from getting any closer.

“What?” He asked, muffled from behind his palm.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth yet,” Jongin reasoned, sheepishly grinning. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, gently pulling his hand away from his lips. He leaned in, and close enough like this, he can almost hear the thundering of Jongin’s pulse.

“Tell me if you want to stop,” Kyungsoo said just as Jongin laughed and finally closed the distance between them. The kiss was soft, softer than the previous night. Kyungsoo took his time mapping every inch of his mouth, feeling the give of Jongin’s mouth beneath him. Jongin’s other hand comes up to the back of Kyungsoo’s neck, pulling him down. He wanted this moment encased in a box, tucked away forever.

The ache in Kyungsoo’s heart grows and he surges forward, bites and nips until Jongin got the hint and took charge of the kiss. They part for air briefly, breathing hard against each other. Kyungsoo placed a hand against Jongin’s chest. He counts it beat, feels it race under his own palm and sighs in relief. They rest their forehead against each other, basking in the moment of being alive.

“Oh, hey,” Jeno said, standing at the doorway with a cup of water on one hand. Kyungsoo pulls back a little although Jongin kept one hand entangled with his. Jeno gets back to his seat, handing Jongin his cup of water. “Does this mean I get to call you uncle Kyungsoo now?”

Kyungsoo looked at Jongin who shrugged. Kyungsoo shook his head, “It’s not like you haven’t been calling me uncle all this time,” He said, exasperated.

Jeno shrugged, “Well, now it’s official-official.”

A knock from the door startled them all into silence. Jongin nodded at Jeno who opened the door to let the detectives in.

“We just need you to answer some questions, Mr. Kim,” The detective said, pulling out a notepad and a pen from his back pocket. His partner, a man who looked like in his forties, went beside Jongin to show him some pictures. Jeno stood by the foot of his bed, worry lines etched on his forehead.

Kyungsoo wondered if he knew about his past.

-

20 years ago

“You bitch, you fucking bitch!” Hyunseung shouted as he grabbed Hyuna’s auburn hair and pulled her down. He was nursing a stab wound from his stomach – a piece of glass that Hyuna had thoughtlessly grabbed earlier when he was hitting her.

Hyuna gritted her teeth, promising herself this is the last time she’s ever going to see him again. She didn’t even know what she expected. Now that they have a baby, she thought he’d at least change for them – for their family. Tears streaked down her pale cheeks, her hand still clutching the broken glass she used to stab him with, it came from the table piece he slammed her onto. Hyunseung grabbed her face with his bloodied hands, clutching her chin in a bruising grip.

“You got some balls now, huh,” He said, watching her face and seeing the hardened lines on the corner of her eyes. She was a pretty woman, pretty enough that Hyunseung made sure he was the only one who ever looked at her – made sure she was his and his only.

Hyuna spit on his face, taking the moment he pushed her away to get back on her own feet. There was a knife in the kitchen and she ran for it, the only protection she’s ever going to get. Hyunseung made sure to pay each and everyone of her neighbors to keep their mouth shut whenever something like this happens – she can’t even scream for help now. She’s only glad Jongin is still in school. He would have done something probably stupid if he was here.

Hyunseung blacked out in rage. One second, he was seeing her clutching a knife and in the next flash – the knife was in his hands. Hyuna’s body slumped lifelessly on the ground as she lay choking in her own blood.

“Fuck, fuck.” He cursed as he dropped the knife and saw her eyes roll to the back of her head. He was going to get caught, his mind supplied as he hurried out of the building. He looked at his son – on his high-chair by the living room looking at him with some strange fascination. Hyunseung looked at him and ran out as fast as he can away from that place.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fate's quote was from xxxHolic and I may have drawn some inspiration from Yuko. Still not edited properly, will edit after I post the last chapter!


	4. memento vivere

iv.

Kyungsoo heard the familiar laughter of Jeno from outside the house. He just got back from grocery shopping – a task he hadn’t even thought he’d be able to enjoy. It was such a mundane thing and so wholly human that it made him giddy just thinking about going out again, never mind the fact he doesn’t actually need to eat. There was someone else in the house, he figures, since he hadn’t heard Jongin’s voice. He knocks at the door, he has his own key sitting idly on his pocket, since his hands were otherwise preoccupied.

Jeno’s bright face greeted him as he opened the door, grabbing the groceries from his hands. “Uncle,” He said. “I have a guest over,” His voice faded as he deposited the bag of groceries towards the kitchen. Kyungsoo made sure to toe off his shoes on the doorway and place them to the side.

His smile dissipated as soon as he saw the said guest – he recognized the cold, distant eyes he’d seen back at the hospital. The feeling of slow dread creeping up in his spine. He thought of how he hadn’t even questioned how the kid had become a reaper, recognizing the look that some days mirrored his own.

“Jongin?” He called out, just at the edge of frantic. Kim from batch 43 watched him stoically.

“Right here,” Jongin’s distant voice responded from somewhere in the attic. Kyungsoo almost breathed a sigh of relief if it wasn’t for the threat in the house. Kyungsoo watched him warily, about to say something scathing when Jeno came back, smiling.

“Sehun, meet uncle Kyungsoo. Uncle, this is Sehun from school,” Jeno said, unaware of the growing tension. Sehun looked between them before extending out a hand.

“It’s nice to meet you,” He said. Kyungsoo shook his hand, smiling though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. For the first time since he’d stepped inside this house, he felt thoroughly vulnerable.

“Likewise,” He said through gritted teeth. He glanced at Jeno and the empty table. “Jeno, why don’t you prepare snacks for our guest? I’d do it but I’m afraid I’m too exhausted to move at the moment.”

“Are you okay, uncle?”

“Fine, just tired.”

“Okay, you want tea?” Jeno asked Sehun who nodded in reply. As soon as he went out of earshot, Kyungsoo went back to glaring at the newcomer.

Sehun met his gaze evenly, although he did avert his eyes for a millisecond.

“How did you know where to find this place?”

Sehun glanced back towards the kitchen, wary of being overheard. He looked young and tired, but Kyungsoo thinks that was more of a work hazard than anything. And besides, he only looked like that because of the age he died – granted he’d been in this type of work for at least a decade.

“Superior Kim from batch 27, sir.” Sehun recited. Kyungsoo gaped at him. “My orders were to collect the missing soul should you fail to do it,”

Kyungsoo felt his palm turn into a fist. “Tell him to fuck off.” Kyungsoo hissed through gritted teeth lest Jeno hear him. This was the sort of thing that Jongdae would absolutely pull off, he’d go behind Kyungsoo’s back to get what he wanted, the only problem is – what the hell could he possibly want from getting Jongin’s soul? They had known each other for quite a while now and although reapers were known not to form any kind of attachment, sentimental or not, he liked to think they were at least friends.

“You’re not taking his soul. Do you understand me?” He said, voice going an octave lower. Sehun watched him, probably zeroing in on the vein on his neck threatening to pop. He looked like a smart kid, Kyungsoo thinks, the only thing left is to make the right decision here.

“Yes sir,” He answered after a pause. If he had answered otherwise, Kyungsoo didn’t know what he would have done – probably break heaven and hell in his efforts to keep Jongin safe. He’s already made a deal; he just needs to wait it out until the time comes.

Kyungsoo schooled his expression back to normal as soon as he heard Jeno’s approaching footsteps. He’s carrying a tray of sandwiches and a pitch of iced tea with four glasses. He looked between them, as if sensing the stiff tension in the room. Sehun’s face remained passive, not giving anything away nor smiling.

“You’re getting along, I hope,” He said, putting the tray down on the small table. He smiled at Kyungsoo who chuckled in reply.

“I better leave you guys be, I’ll check up on Jongin and make sure he’s not overexerting himself.” He said. He nodded at Sehun who just watched him leave the room – the kid’s face still unreadable. That probably what made him a good reaper, Kyungsoo thinks.

Kyungsoo passes by the kitchen, a smell wafting through his nose but had paid it no mind when he saw Jongin coming down from the attic. His smile was huge when he spotted Kyungsoo striding towards him. The toolbox left on the edge of the narrow stairs as he welcomed Kyungsoo in his arms, burying his nose in his hair. Kyungsoo felt him take a lungful of air and felt his ears redden – he just got back from the market and who knows how many kinds of smell had attached itself to him. He pushes lightly against Jongin’s broad shoulders although it was a futile attempt.

“How was shopping?” Jongin asked, pulling back but keeping his arms loosely placed around Kyungsoo’s waist. Kyungsoo noticed he’d gained weight – which he hadn’t thought possible. He wasn’t human, after all. Jongin’s cooking was the one thing he hadn’t expected he’d liked the most in the human world.

“Fine, I got everything on the list.” Kyungsoo replied, watching Jongin’s face, trying to memorize it. He wants to burn the memory deep into the back of his head, so he’d never forget. Jongin frowned at him, probably sensing the dark turn of his thoughts. He always had some sort of sixth sense when it comes to Kyungsoo thinking into dangerous territories.

Kyungsoo felt Jongin’s hand on either side of his cheeks – squeezing them together. He batted the offending hands out of the way as Jongin let out a laugh. “I can hear you thinking,” He said.

“Yeah? What was I thinking,” Kyungsoo grumbled as he pushes past Jongin and makes his way to his room, Jongin following after him with a ghost of a smile. He thinks about going straight to wherever Jongdae is and giving him a piece of his mind – but with Sehun still inside the house, he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving them. Jongin stood on the doorway, leaning against the threshold with his good shoulder. He crosses his arms against his chest.

“You’re thinking about how little time I have left,” He said gently. His face remained the same, the only shifting part was his eyes. Kyungsoo opened his mouth to protest when Jongin held up a hand to let him continue his piece. “I’m still human, it’s life. Sooner or later, I’d still be in this position – the only thing I’m glad for is that I met you.” He continued, walking towards Kyungsoo who was seated on his bed.

“Do you think it would have been better if we hadn’t met each other?” He asked.

Kyungsoo shook his head fervently, but he did wish the circumstances were different. In another life, maybe. Somewhere where they are both preferably and painstakingly human. He wanted that more than anything – and maybe the only thing he had ever wanted in this life. Jongin stood in front of Kyungsoo, placing a hand on the side of his face. Kyungsoo leaned into the touch.

“No, of course not.” He answered. He closed his eyes, remembering the centuries he’d spent without feeling. It was still a foreign concept, something he’d gradually taken a liking to over time. “I just don’t know how I’d live without you. It would be empty, my days passing by until my reincarnation came. And even then, I can’t imagine living in this world where you wouldn’t exist.” He opened his eyes. He sighed. This was why he tried to avoid talking about the topic when he can.

Kyungsoo tried to pull away but Jongin hadn’t let him. His eyes piercingly brown and staring right into Kyungsoo. His brows are pinched together into a frown. “Listen, you will live. With or without me. That’s not debatable. So, don’t—” Jongin sucked in a sharp breath. “—don’t talk like you won’t. I can’t accept that. I don’t care if it takes a few other lifetimes to get it right, but it will. I like to believe fate isn’t actually that cruel,” The corner of his lips tugging into a half-smile.

 _Oh, but she is,_ Kyungsoo thinks but doesn’t say. Instead he smiled, pulling Jongin’s head down and his forehead against the other. “Okay,” He said. “Okay.”

“Good.” Jongin exhaled.

-

They heard Sehun’s shout before everything went black. When Kyungsoo opened his eyes, he saw red. The room is engulfed in flames. Liquid was dripping on his forehead and he hastily wipes it away from his eyes – only to see more red. He hadn’t even thought he was capable of bleeding anymore. There was a ringing in his ears and something heavy on his leg. Kyungsoo felt his heart constrict against his chest as he took a quick scan of his surroundings – Jongin nowhere to be found.

“Jongin!” He shouted; voice hoarse before breathing in a lungful of smoke. He coughed into his hand and tried to look for any sign of Jongin, eyes watery. He was becoming more human. He tried to snap his fingers to remove the debris, nothing came of it. There was a groan in the hallway and his head snapped towards the direction of the voice. “Jongin!” He tried. He pushed again, the piece of debris scraping his leg in the process – Kyungsoo howled through the pain until it had come off. It left him weaker and he had to get his breath back for a minute even with the smoke engulfing them, he has to get Jongin out or they’ll suffocate to death.

He crawled on the floor to get the hallway where he finally saw Jongin lying just outside his door. Jongin’s head snapped up to meet his, something in his eyes that made Kyungsoo’s heart ache more. Kyungsoo crawled until he got to where Jongin was lying, resigned to his fate. His thigh had been pierced with a sharp object – Kyungsoo can see the gushing of blood.

“Not today,” Kyungsoo whispered, taking in Jongin’s face in his scraped hands. He feels it so desperately it might as well be etched in his bones – and he wanted Jongin to know how badly he meant it. “Come on, get up,” Kyungsoo urged.

Jongin coughed, he pointed towards the direction of the front door where it was currently being devoured by the fire. “Jeno,” Jongin whispered before he blacks out. Kyungsoo can feel his pulse under his fingertips. Kyungsoo rested his head on Jongin’s shoulder for a moment before struggling to sit up. He sees a shadowy figure striding towards them, Kyungsoo laid a protective hand on Jongin’s body – and then he blacked out.

-

When Kyungsoo came to, it was with a pounding head. He can’t feel his legs, or his arms – or any of his limbs and it took him to panic for a moment before he realized he can move his hands. The room was blindingly white, and he had to squint his eyes to see his surroundings until his eyes adjusted. The familiar smell of alcohol and anti-septic wafted through his nose, the nostalgic feeling of his early days staying by the hospital to collect souls had been enough of a clue as to where he was.

“That was stupid,” a voice had said to his left. Kyungsoo moved his head and saw Jongdae casually sitting on the chair beside his bed with an opened book in his hand. He doesn’t spare Kyungsoo a glance.

“Not as stupid as you trying to kill him,” Kyungsoo hissed through gritted teeth. He tried to sit up but the pain in his leg had started to shoot up. Jongdae watched him with narrowed eyes.

“You think I did this?” He asked and before Kyungsoo could open his mouth to say _that yes, of course you fucking did,_ Jongdae followed that with, “I warned you. I told you misfortune is going to follow him, and you didn’t listen. On top of that, you’re barely a reaper – lying on the bed miserable as a human. Are you happy now?” Jongdae spat and then he stood up.

Kyungsoo would argue if what Jongdae said hadn’t made sense but as it is, his argument was sound. He sighed instead, an apology on the tip of his tongue before remembering that even if Jongdae hadn’t succeeded he still tried to take Jongin’s soul behind Kyungsoo’s back.

“I just need more time,” Kyungsoo said, looking away. He knew that Jongdae would figure it out. He was the smarter one, after all.

He sees Jongdae rub a hand against his face from the corner of his eyes.

“You’re—” Jongdae started until the fight had drained everything out of him. He kept his mouth into a thin line.

“—stupid, I know.” Kyungsoo mused, half-smiling. “Where is he?”

“In the other room. He’s still kicking,”

“I know,”

Jongdae frowned at him, “How did you know I wasn’t going to try and reap his soul?”

Kyungsoo shrugged with his one good shoulder. “You were lecturing me, and you didn’t use past tense,”

“His nephew is fine, 43 had saved him in time. There was a gas leak in the house, I couldn’t find anything salvageable more than a few photo albums.”

Kyungsoo remembered smelling rotten eggs in the air but had gotten distracted when he saw Jongin. He should’ve been more alert. “Ah, so that’s what it was.” He said, quietly. If he had only reacted in time – they could’ve prevented this whole thing from happening.

He can feel Jongdae’s eyes watch him intently from the side. The weight of his stare boring into the side of his face. Even if he couldn’t see it properly, he was certain that Jongdae’s wearing his exasperated expression directed towards him.

“What have you done now,” Jongdae softly said, not quite reprimanding. Kyungsoo doesn’t give him an answer.

-

There are certain events in life you can’t undo, no matter how much regretting you make. This wasn’t the case for Kyungsoo but for the first in time in his life, it hadn’t occurred to him that the one time he could never erase, was the one thing he’d have to pay for.

The dead are as much of a sinner as the ones alive, they pay for it in the afterlife, sometimes in the extreme cases they became reapers. Harvester of souls that are neither evil nor good but just is. They exist because a balance must be kept and when the tips of the scale so much as sway the other side – there are crueler consequences.

Fate watched the event unfold before her eyes, twenty years ago. The intricate webs connecting human lives had been so wonderfully crafted that she couldn’t help but admire it. She sat back into her scarlet red seat and took a long drag. She can see the same events unfolding towards the present, only this time, it’s going to be heading towards its inevitable course.

-

By the time Jongin had woken up, there’s a heavy thing resting on his arm. For a moment he’d thought it was injured – until he moved the tips of his fingers and felt the scratchy surface of the bed. His eyes moved toward his right and saw Kyungsoo resting his head on his forearm, or well, part of it. He couldn’t help the smile on his face even if he wanted to.

There are no burns in his body, the fire miraculously untouching him and all of him is still intact save for his leg that had been injured. Probably his head too. He’s not sure how long he’d been unconscious for. The startling realization of Jeno missing drew panic from his lungs – Jongin scanned the room. The machine kept track of his heart beating as fast as it could as Kyungsoo’s head snap up in a daze, realization dawning on his face as he watched Jongin try to keep his breathing under control. The nurses had quickly and efficiently burst into the room, Jongin watched Kyungsoo get gently pushed to the side as they assist him.

And then Jeno came into the room, his worried face coming into view. He hadn’t managed to keep his heart to slow but you can see the relief in his face. Kyungsoo watched from the sidelines as they try to keep him calm, it took almost thirty minutes before Jongin can breathe finely on his own.

-

Kyungsoo went outside for some fresh air, bandaged arm clutched closer to his chest as he weaved his way seamlessly towards the open air. No one spared him a glance and he think he must have at least retained some of his powers still or maybe they just saw a desperate guy in need for escape. The lights shone on his back; moon still high in the air with no clouds in tow. His heart hurt every time he looked at Jongin lying there.

He thinks he might see Fate again before dismissing the thought. She had already done her part. It’s up to Kyungsoo, now. He sits on an empty bench, a vending machine stood by a few feet from him. There was a patrol car just stopping by out front, a guy dressed in civilian clothing got out. Kyungsoo recognized him and without thinking, waved a hand at him. He thinks it may have been a trick of the light, the way his eyes darkened for a moment before walking reluctantly towards where Kyungsoo sat.

“Twenty years ago, there was an incident,” The detective started without preamble. Kyungsoo patted the seat next to him, waiting for the explanation, no longer fazed by the turn of events. The worst thing had already happened, surely the Divinity would give him a moment’s rest before it decides to kick him into the curb again. The detective sat and looked warily at Kyungsoo. He kept a respectful distance between them, fists clenched on his lap as he cast his glance away.

Kyungsoo nods. Sooner or later, someone would have figured out he wasn’t human.

“A domestic abuse. We were dispatched. The room was empty save for the blood and the kid on the high-chair,” The man rubbed a tired hand across his face, “Christ.” He muttered, finding it harder to continue. “There was another suspect and I said, that couldn’t be right. There weren’t any other fingerprints. Witness said it was a guy with a black suit, death on her door. Too ghostly to be human, too pale.” He gave Kyungsoo a crumpled sketch from his pocket.

Kyungsoo opened it and saw his face. It was a rather nice portrait of him, too.

“The first time I saw you it didn’t click. It wasn’t until I found that,” He pointed at the portrait and got a shaky hand out to light his cigarette. “So, what, you an angel or something? Watching over that family?” He looked away when Kyungsoo looked at him properly.

Kyungsoo wanted to laugh, what a lousy guardian angel he’d become if he ever was one. He shook his head instead. “No. Nothing of the sort,” He sighed.

“You didn’t kill her, did you?”

Kyungsoo shook his head. And then he looked at the patrol car out front where the driver had gotten out of the car carrying another body. Nurses had come flocking towards the patrol car – a gurney in tow. “I’m the opposite. I go where death is,” He looked at the detective, the same face that the nurses are now carrying on the gurney towards the hospital’s entrance.

“Ah. I always thought it was a puzzling case. We were given breadcrumbs, I told them. It was too easy of an arrest, like, like someone had wanted him to get caught. But I guess life does bring you some good news now and then,”

“Kang Moonjik, born on December 11. Died at 9:14pm on February 14th. Cause of death: Gunshot wound. Can you confirm?” Kyungsoo asked. There was a white name card that had seemed like he plucked out of thin air.

The detective stubbed his finished cigarette on a nearby trashcan. He grinned the grin of a man with nothing left to lose, “Good news, indeed.” He said as he followed Kyungsoo into the darkness.

-

When he got back to the hospital, no time had passed. The time in the other world move in a different pace from earth.

The police officer who brought Moonjik’s body into the hospital looked weary. Kyungsoo sat next to him and offered him coffee. His eyes are teary as he caught Kyungsoo up to speed in the case. They caught Hyunseung – after the fire, and when he found out that Jongin had still survived, vowed to make him pay for a third time. He was rabid, they said, the only thing missing was foam in his mouth. It took five of them to take him down. Detective Kang stopped him in time but took a fatal shot to the chest. Kyungsoo patted his head, thanked him immensely and let him mourn on his own.

He peeked at Jongin’s hospital room where he lay passed out, expression still knotted into a frown even asleep. Jeno was by his bedside, head bent in his arms as he slept soundly, visibly tired. Kyungsoo can’t blame him, the amount of bad luck they had to endure these past few weeks were Kyungsoo’s fault entirely.

Now he learned that the price of salvation was insurmountable. A price he wasn’t willing to pay before he met them. Kyungsoo looked at his arm where the fractured bones hadn’t repaired itself in some magical will, he’s almost completely human. There’s just one thing left to do.

His heart felt like it was going to pierce his chest in its ache as he sat on Jongin’s bed, clutching the other’s hand with his good one. Jongin woke, a knot in between his eyebrows until he saw Kyungsoo and smiled. Kyungsoo sighed, brushing the strands of hair that had fallen on the other’s eyes.

“Sorry to wake you,” Kyungsoo said, not entirely meaning it. The things he’s sorry for doesn’t even compare.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin asked, suspicious. Kyungsoo would almost laugh if he wasn’t feeling as if the world had come crashing down on him. Jongin and his sixth sense when it comes to Kyungsoo feeling like shit. Instead, Kyungsoo shook his head and smiled.

“No, I just. I came to say goodbye,” He said.

Jongin’s features softened, “Are you taking me?” He smiles, the kind of smile a man resigned to his fate would make. Kyungsoo shook his head.

“I want you to live a long and happy life,”

Jongin frowned, confused.

“Find someone you will marry. Make a family. I want you to be able to look at these events in the next forty or fifty years as a series of misfortune for the luck to come through for you and your family–”

“Kyungsoo, what are you saying?”

“—I’m paying my dues. Twenty years ago, I helped a kindred soul and tainted yours in the process. If I hadn’t meddled,” Kyungsoo almost cursed, “Hyunseung’s grudge wouldn’t be directed at you.”

Jongin’s hand had gripped his arms mercilessly. “Kyungsoo, what did you do?” He asked, frantic.

Kyungsoo smiled.

“Kyungsoo – what did you – I’m not dying, am I?”

“I want you to know that I have never wanted anything in this world as much as I wanted you and I would do everything to keep you from harm,” Kyungsoo lift up one hand against Jongin’s cheek. “Even if that means I don’t get to keep you,”

Jongin’s eyes watered as Kyungsoo fell towards him, his head resting on Jongin’s collarbone. He breathed weakly and this time, it was Jongin’s world that had felt crashing down on him. “No, no – you don’t get to do this. After everything we went through you don’t get – why don’t I get a say in this? This is my life, Kyungsoo, you don’t get to decide to disappear,”

Kyungsoo found a harder time to get air back into his lungs, “Listen to me, Kim Jongin. You will live, with or without me.” He huffed, “It’s not debatable.”

Jongin sobbed, clutching Kyungsoo’s head against his chest. He sobbed into his brown hair, “Oh god, what did you do,”

Kyungsoo closed his eyes, content to listen at Jongin’s still beating heart as he takes his last few breaths. “You’ll be fine. I’ll take all the pain with me so you can live with no heartache, no regrets,” He said as he took one last surge of strength to lift his head up and meet Jongin’s eyes. “You will forget.” He said, voice breaking at the end with a smile. He caressed Jongin’s cheek one last time.

Jongin blinked.

“Uncle?” Jeno said, lifting his head up. He stretched languidly to the side before finally taking a look at him. His eyes widened in alarm, “Are you hurt? Why are you crying? I’ll go get the nurse!” Jeno said as he scrambled to run outside and find someone to help.

Jongin wiped at his cheeks. There was something heavy in his chest that he couldn’t explain, and the tears kept flowing even when he furiously rubbed at his eyes. There was a hollowness he was certain he hadn’t felt before. The worst thing of it all was that he hadn’t even remembered what he was crying about.

Jongdae watched from the doorway with his hat still on his head before taking it off and walking away. This was the first time he felt so wrong at being right. He makes his way towards the prison to remove Hyunseung’s memories – Kyungsoo’s last favor.

Fate watched from her seat, the smoke curling around her as if it has a mind of its own. The world is cruel on its own. But that was fine – if it wasn’t cruel then she wouldn’t be kind. Fate stood up from her seat and opened her door into another world – her heels clacking loudly against the white marbled floor with the faint smell of anti-septic in the air. She stood next to an unconscious body, a young soldier who fell into a coma after his suicide attempt at the base. Fate picked up his medical chart and looked at his name. Won Dongyeon. He will do.

“It will be a longer time before you meet each other again, a little indulgence won’t hurt now won’t it?” She said as a man in white robes opened the door. His tag read, Dr. Choi Siwon.

The doctor sighed. “Visitors are not allowed past ten,”

Fate raised her eyebrows at him, “You don’t fool me, you old bastard,” She drawled as she tapped Won Dongyeon’s forehead with a finger. He choked and spluttered back into life as Fate cautiously stepped back into the shadows.

“Shall we up the stakes, this time, o Great one?”

Dr. Choi rubbed at his temples, “Fine, fine. I’m not as cruel as they say, you know,” He muttered as he attended to his patient, a strange glint in his eyes. He helped him sit up and removed the neck braces, aware that it’s now perfectly useless with the new person in front of him.

“I’m Dr. Choi, you’re in a Hospital,”

“What?” Dongyeon croaked, his throat dry. Dr. Choi handed him a glass of water by the bedside, already prepared, courtesy of his previous guest.

“You were found in a warehouse near the military base. Do you remember what happened?”

Dongyeon blinked. Deep down, he knew he wasn’t him. Somehow, he was absolutely sure that he wasn’t where he’s supposed to be. Flashes and bits of memory appeared to him like an old tv playback and he nodded.

“Do you have any questions?”

Dongyeon opened his mouth to ask but he couldn’t bring himself to ask anything without sounding like a lunatic. A lone tear escaped his cheek. He wiped at it and looked at his hand.

“Are you feeling hurt, somewhere? We can up the dosage, your leg is healing well though I suppose it wouldn’t be without some difficulty,”

Dongyeon shook his head, “It hurts here,” He clutched at his chest.

“We can run some ECG tests on you if it persists,”

His tears seemed to have doubled as he shook his head again. He let out a crazed laugh, “No. I feel – I feel sad and somewhat relieved, I don’t know why,” He looked up.

The light behind Dr. Choi’s head made him look like he had a halo. “Ah well, a near-death experience will do that to you. Get some rest, Won Dongyeon.” Dr. Choi explained and patted his shoulder. He stepped back and he looked as normal as he can be again.

Dongyeon nodded and looked at his hands. It felt somewhat foreign as he clenched and unclenched his fist before his eyes, as if his body is adjusting to his limbs slowly.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter is done. This took me a long time to finish because I didn't want to stop writing them. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing the whole fic. This is a birthday gift for my best friend, which is months long after the supposed birth date - sorry! I hope you liked it. And yeah, Dongyeon is Kyungsoo! 
> 
> If you watched Along With The Gods, you might recognize the reference. I have this idea of Lee Elijah as Fate and she's just so pretty??? Give me some recommendations to watch too!

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the canonical rules still apply:  
> 1.) Hats are magical things that make you invisible.  
> 2.) Reapers were souls who had gravely sinned in their former life.  
> 3.) Missing souls are souls that are supposed to die - but for some reason is still alive. Every 9 years is when a reaper finds them if they've gone into hiding. Something about the number 9 being the perfect number.


End file.
